so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
