Kareoke will never be a sober sport
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
two words...techno handjob
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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