Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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