What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
