I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
