I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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