He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
