I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
