I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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