i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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