please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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