Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize