after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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