He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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