Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
