the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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