when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
