...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize