ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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