we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
