Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Randomize
