It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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