Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize