So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
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I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
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I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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