he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize