If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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