Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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