there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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