All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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