did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
