u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
