Small penises have feelings too.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
