fuck your aforementioned shoe
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
