Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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