sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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