I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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