I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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