Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
