He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
