i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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