Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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