highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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