Is it because I queefed?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
