Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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