i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
