Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
