margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i don't like sucking hair
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I would ride that face into the sunset
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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