hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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