I'm going to jail i love you
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
bring money and cleavage
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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