so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
