Its about making memories worth repressing
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
