with your own penis?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
