I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
