I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
