I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
