i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
