You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
